Daniel Sloss Guest Blog

I love Glasgow. I love Glasgow in the way that most people not from Glasgow love Glasgow. I love it the way that the little nerdy kid loves his girlfriend despite the fact that he knows she is sleeping with absolutely everyone else, because it doesn't matter as long as he gets the occasional hand-job. It's a tough love, a love that I know that I give to the city, but that the city is never likely to return that love... Until the Glasgow Comedy Festival. It's at this time of year that Glasgow makes me feel like a pimp. Sure, I don't have a cane or a cool hat with feathers in it, but I still feel that cool (side note: I want a cane.).

 I love gigging in Glasgow because it's just mental. Most other cities tone down their mentalness when guests come to visit: like a mum who is frantically cleaning the house before the guests arrive. Glasgow takes a shit on the coffee table lets the guests look at it, and they don't have the courage to ask why. One time I was gigging in Glasgow and I got heckled by a man, I put him down, he heckled again, I put him down again. Victory to me... Or so I thought. He piped up again, and before I could put him down with my hilarious comeback ("So's your mum") a very drunk woman from a hen party leaned over and smacked him with her "L" plate (not a euphemism) and yelled "You leave that wee boy alone!". It was like my own herpes ridden bodyguard. It was lovely.

Thats why I always go back to Glasgow. That's why everyone goes back. It has the "treat 'em mean, keep em keen" and it works. I'm bloody keen. I'm a whore for Glasgow, I'm not the pimp. Glasgow is the pimp. And I will swallow every metaphorical load it gives me because I know it loves me deep down.

See Daniel Sloss performing his solo show My Generation at the Garage this Friday 1 April. Find out more about the show here.



Find out more about Daniel Sloss at www.danielsloss.co.uk.