Glasgow International Comedy Festival Blog

Get Set, Stand Up!

2012-02-07T15:05:00.002Z

'What do you mean I get to stand on a stage and people have to listen to me? No matter what? ...cool!'

Giving teenagers free reign with a microphone can be a rollercoaster ride, but it's always worth the trip. Impact Arts are delighted to be working in partnership with the Glasgow International Comedy Festival for the third year running to provide young people aged 14-19 with the opportunity to break into comedy.

Currently in Scotland you may think that our young people don't have a lot to laugh about; high unemployment, lack of training and lack of opportunity dominates the newspaper headlines. They could let this doom and gloom get to them, but that's not the Scottish spirit is it? No, not when we can make a sarcastic quip or spin a yarn about the 30th trip to the job centre. Smile and the world smiles with you. Impact Arts - Get Set, Stand Up workshops focus on introducing young people to stand-up comedy, boosting their confidence and giving them the opportunity to try something new - and who knows, perhaps the next Kevin Bridges or Daniel Sloss will be discovered.

The free workshops are tutored by Jay Lafferty, who was nominated for Best New Scottish Comedian at the Scottish Variety Awards in 2011. Jay says 'tutoring the Get Set, Stand Up workshops is one of the biggest highlights of my year - teenagers telling it like it is... how they see the world, no holds barred. The emotions are raw, they are very truthful and truth is far funnier than fiction. It's brilliant to be able to work with the participants building their confidence before seeing them get on stage for their first gig.'

Alongside Jay there will be a host of guest comedians dropping into the workshops, including Capital Radio's Des Clarke and the author of The Top 50 Greatest Scots Of All Time Ever Vladimir McTavish.

Last year 16-year-old Ryan Hughes took part in the course: 'Comedy has always been close to my heart and to get the chance to do it with Jay and the guys at Impact Arts was a chance I had to take. I'm so glad I did because it's helped me in so many ways; comedy has given me the chance to prove to audiences that the stereotypical view of someone being in a wheelchair isn't true. When I began the course it opened my eyes; here was something I could enjoy doing whilst learning new skills and making new friends. Basically comedy is now a big part of my life, I wouldn't have it any other way.'

This year's course starts on Thursday 1 March and runs every Thursday until the showcase performance on Thursday 29 March. For more information, or to apply, please contact msummers@impactarts.co.uk.

Mark Nelson Guest Blog

2012-01-30T15:21:00.001Z

Every single year Scotland hosts a festival which showcases the biggest names in comedy from Britain and worldwide, attracts thousands of punters and is widely regarded as the finest festival comedy has to offer. Then in August, there's something on in Edinburgh as well apparently.

This will be my 8th year experiencing the Glasgow International Comedy Festival either as a performer or audience member. Doing the festival is far and away my favourite thing to be involved in as a comedian. Unlike Edinburgh I am not forced to live the rest of the year eating from bins because I have spent £92,000 hiring a sweaty basement for that oh-so-lucrative 2.15pm slot. Unlike Edinburgh I am not pacing around with insomnia, worrying that I'll be reviewed by some media degree w****r who, despite only doing it as work experience, actually holds my career in his hands. Unlike Edinburgh I can have a drink and a chat with people in the industry who I like, rather than every conversation being reduced to 'how's your numbers?'

Comedy should be fun and that is what makes Glasgow so unique; it is immense fun. The city prides itself on its sense of humour and this shines through at gigs. People often exaggerate about how hard a Glasgow crowd is and tell horror stories of even the best in the business dying in Glasgow. Rubbish. If you are funny, you will not receive a better reception from any other crowd in the world. Over the years I have literally every comedian of note perform at the festival, and every single one I have spoken to has loved it.

I've lived in the city for over 10 years now and it still excites me. The things which are intrinsic to Glasgow are what I love about it most. I like the mental boozers. I like the fact that drunken fools take the time to put a traffic cone on a bloke's head. I like salt and vinegar on my chips. That's why I think it's brilliant that it is host to not just the biggest, but by far the best, comedy festival in the world.

This year I will be performing my solo show at Oran Mor. As always it won't really be about anything in particular; it'll just be me having a laugh and saying funny things about what's been going on in the past 12 months. I'll see you there.

Catch Mark Nelson: Live and Unleashed at Oran Mor on Friday 30 March. For more information click here.

Ro Campbell Guest Blog

2011-04-07T12:54:00.000+01:00

I always love performing at the Glasgow International Comedy Festival. It’s the best comedy-only festival in the world. If you can’t afford to go to Melbourne. And you don’t get invited to Montreal. It’s definitely better than the one in Kirkcaldy.

Sure, in Melbourne you can sunbathe at the beach before your show, but can you get a roll and square sausage? No you can’t. And you certainly can’t get it from a woman who looks like one.

There is definitely something about inclement weather and artery-choking food that increases the predilection for hearty laughter. Granted, it might be mental illness, but if that’s the case, I’ll take a room full of Seasonally Affected Drunks any day, over the silent stares of the sushi-nibbling moccachino-sipping bores at comedy festivals in sunnier and more cosmopolitan climes. There is nothing more depressing than being heckled by froth.

Seriously though, Glasgow audiences are nothing if not receptive.

English comics have this weird obsession with the dangers of being English in Glasgow. I always point out to them that Glaswegians hate each other far more than they hate the English. I tend not to point out that even rival Glaswegians will collaborate to beat an Englishman dead before getting back to slashing each other in the face again. But seriously, I’ve never found Glasgow crowds to be anything but extremely generous. Even if they don’t like you, they will still buy you drinks and patiently explain why they don’t like you. Even if you beg them to leave you alone.

Now I should point out here that I’m originally from Australia. But in a lot of ways Glasgow always feels like a hometown gig to me. I tend to think anywhere you've racked up a 5 figure drug debt pretty much qualifies as a “Hometown”. My show is guaranteed to sell out, largely thanks to dealers I owe money to from the late nineties and women seeking paternity tests for strangely familiar looking children. It’s an unconventional marketing strategy, but one that unfailingly works.

I started my stand-up comedy career right here in Scotland back in 2005. From the very beginning of my stand-up experience, I’ve had to perform with regularity in this city, and as a consequence I have many fond memories associated with the place. I also have some I'd rather forget, and 18 electric shock treatments later I still waking up screaming about those. Many of those memories hark from my early days storming the comedy trenches of Glesga. Not every one survived that ruthless battlefield. But some more than merely survived. They thrived. Back then I used to regularly gig with the now very famous television comic Kevin Bridges. At the time, he was just a fresh faced, well-spoken young lad, straight out of Fettes College in Edinburgh, where he’d come up with the idea of an endearing working-class Glaswegian character during a Drama Class workshop. I told him it would never work. But he kept at it and finally got the accent right. Have a look at him now! What a gifted actor!

Yes, I’ve done hundreds of shows in Glasgow over the years, in every manner of venue, from the Carling Academy to the Crime Academy. Yes, I actually played a comedy gig at Barlinnie prison recently. I learnt an important lesson that night. Never go on stage with an ounce of heroin up your arse.

A few years back I was asked to do workshops with juvenile delinquents in Easterhouse, teaching them stand up comedy skills as a way of boosting self confidence and morale. Seriously. I did. It was one of many spectacularly ill-conceived things I’ve been involved in in my life. But I’m proud to say those kids turned out to be the funniest hecklers in Barlinnie prison.

If there’s one accusation that will never be levelled at Glasgow, it is pretentiousness. There is a sort of spit and sawdust civic pride in Glasgow that stems I think from a kind of deep underlying self confidence. Willing to laugh at itself but also assured that there is actually a lot more to the place than the negative stereotypes people around the world associate with the city. Sometimes I think all the bad stories about Glasgow are a clever diversion designed to make sure you are never colonised by English people and American tourists in the way Edinburgh has been. Stupid Edinburgh, always telling everyone how good they are.

The negative stereotypes really do affect the outside world's view of Glasgow, and to be fair, I have seen every single one of them unfold before my eyes at one point or other. In fact, I’ve seen them all unfold simultaneously in the space of 20 minutes, on the walk from Buchanan Street Bus station to The Stand Comedy Club, checking them off like some kind of sick back-seat car journey game where the highest points are awarded for the greatest scenes of human degradation and violence. Man injecting heroin thru a hollowed out ball point pen? Check. Teenager screaming “I’ll rip yer coupon aff ya wee prick!” Check. Woman instructing child what to steal from Poundstretchers. Bonus points!

But the negative stereotypes are hardly the full picture. I like to think of Glasgow as a bit like the guy in the pub who always plays the drunken fool, but then can randomly quote Nietzsche and Kierkegaard in the midst of a heated argument. On the surface a dangerous looking drunken maniac, but underneath,a reservoir of rich socio-political and cultural passions. Basically I’m saying Glasgow is Raymond Mearns. If you do not know who Raymond Mearns is, then I put it to you that you do not know Glasgow.

One of my favourite aspects of Glasgow is the Cab Ride. In a Glasgow Cab you can drive for 20 minutes listening to a continuous and amusing monologue from the driver which will simultaneously cover 400 years of sectarian bigotry, the industrial revolution, the decline of British Industry, the sins of Margaret Thatcher, the idiocy of Allied involvement in Afghanistan, the injustice of TV talent shows, before finally bringing everything into a spectacular conclusion with a tale about the time Tommy Sheridan and Gerry Adams spit roasted Michelle McManus in the back of the very cab you are riding in. And at the end of this seemingly never ending journey and speech, he turns to you and says “that will be 4 pound 40 pal.” And you’re like “that can’t be right”. So you go “Here mate call it a fiver”. And he thanks you profusely, through streaming tears, never before having experienced such generosity from the natives.

Yes, the negative stereotypes about Glesga have been much covered in stand-up comedy, including my own. Crime, poverty, violence. Men who take their porridge with a spoonful of crushed glass and women who think methadone was invented to help babies sleep. But Glasgow has a much deeper soul than that. The 18th and 19th century merchants of Glasgow built fine buildings, parks, galleries and museums. Just to rub it in to all the poor cunts toiling in their factories probably. But they remain as an impressive reminder of Glasgow’s important role in the empire of old. And to culturally enrich the citizens of today.

The denizens of Glasgow have a saying, “if you want to really appreciate Glasgow, just look up”. And it’s true, when you do, you will see just how beautiful the architecture in this town really is. Quite often you will see a teenage girl is about to lob an empty bottle on your head too.

But for all the jokes about the less fortunate aspects of the city, Working class people in Glasgow have a history of being very self-educated, aware of social justice issues, prepared to fight for their rights. Much of what we associate with the modern labour movement had its origins in the weaving villages and shipyard’s of Glasgow. In particular the love of Swingers clubs and Sado-Masochistic sexual role play.

And I don’t think that this heritage of grassroots-driven activism can be underestimated in forging the unique and formidable comedic tradition in this town. Maybe it’s the sheer amount of negative social aspects the city has seen over the years, combined with this intelligent sense of social and political justice that makes the comedy that springs from here so prolific and funny. Fuck me. I might have just started to take this blog too seriously.

Anyway, as it happens, I recently discovered that after all the years I’ve been performing in Glasgow I actually have some Glasgow familial connections myself, albeit a long time ago. Earlier in the year I took part in a BBC Radio Scotland programme called “Digging Up Your Roots”, (which would mean something far more disturbing in Australia I might add!! Haha!) where I learned some interesting shit about one of my forefathers.

Turns out my Gt-Gt-Gt Grandfather was a Glasgow weaver. Unfortunately the 1840’s weren’t great times for weavers, so he actually spent more time breaking into wealthy people’s houses than at the spinning wheel. I can’t help but see his chosen targets as being a deliberate act of class warfare. But in reality, his fellow slum dwellers probably had nothing worth stealing.

One day, shortly after robbing a farm house near Helensburgh, he was stopped by the Polis as he walked up Broomielaw, having just disembarked from a steamship on the Clyde. Over his shoulder was a sack of stolen kitchenware and bed linen pinched from the Old Drumfork farmhouse in Cardross. It included six pairs of blankets, two bedcovers, seven sheets, six cups, six saucers, a tea pot, a crystal decanter, and a brass jelly-pan. He was essentially a mobile 1840’s stolen-goods version of IKEA. The Polis didn’t buy his story that he had happened upon the goods in a field, and he was sent to prison, where he was given the nickname “Jelly-Pan Campbell” and ridiculed him for ignoring the old-school criminal code that dictates “never go back for the jelly-pan”. Alright, I made the last bit up, but lets face it, it probably did happen.

I’ve now romanticised my ancestral heritage to the point that My Gt-Gt-Gt Grandfather is no longer a simple and impoverished housebreaker living off crime due to industrial turmoil in the 19th century weaving industry. He was a political activist courageously waging a one man war on the privileged establishment. While they slept. Or were at church.

Anyway, he got transported to Tasmania for that. Van Diemans land as it was known then. Well actually, he spent 500 days incarcerated on a festering prison hulk first, before almost dying on the five month voyage Down Under. I know this because of surviving surgeons’ records in the convict archives. I imagine by the time he disembarked in the strange and foreign land on the other side of the world, he really was regretting going back for the Jelly Pan. But also really in the mood for stealing land from indigenous people.

One thing is for sure. I doubt he ever thought he’d see Glasgow again. And he was right. He never did. I wonder how he’d feel if he knew one of his descendants had made it back here 160 years later to do a comedy show? Well I imagine that would be too much to compute and his head would explode. But not before one final chilling scream of “Don’t go back for the Jelly Pan!!!”

See Ro Campbell's solo show Alibi at Capitol on Sunday 10 April 2011. Find out more about the show here.

Janey Godley Guest Blog

2011-04-04T13:59:00.000+01:00

Glasgow is funny and so are the folk.

‘So there I was waiting for my kidney to get taken out of me and an Alsatian dog peed on my leg’, is one conversation from a bus stop in Glasgow by a wee man called Tam with a bunnet and penchant for calling Polish people ‘The Migrant Workers’.

You see Glasgow people are angry, bitter and as soft as fondue inside, we tell it like it is and that’s why my fair city bred some of the world’s best comics, from Chic Murray, Billy Connolly to latest comedy kid of the moment Tam at the 62 bus stop going to Shettleston.
We are funny people, we are Celtic (spoken with a hard C, anything else would divide the city) and Celtic people are inherent story tellers. The women that come out of the comedy circuit in Glasgow aren’t all cakes, cats and cushions nor do they bang on about being fat – they usually have stuff to say and they say with aplomb.

Glasgow has comedy ingrained into its very fabric, the people here laugh out loud at funerals and see the funny side of being under Tory rule again by snickering at the London anarchists who up-end litter bins and call it a demonstration. The Glasgow people threw cans of Irn Bru at Sheena Easton for affecting a Los Angeles twang at a Glasgow green concert and the old women of the council houses threatened to stab Maggie Thatcher with their knitting needles when she came to their community centre.

We are Glasgow, we are funny. Now go away before I set ma dog on ye!

See Janey Godley's show The Godley Hour at Oran Mor on Sunday 10 April. Click here for more show information.

Find out more about Janey at www.janeygodley.com.

John Gavin Guest Blog

2011-04-01T15:14:00.001+01:00

Whenever I talk to English comedians about gigging in Glasgow the same things always seem to crop up. A misconception that comes up is that performing to a Glasgow audience is something akin to performing to a bunch of homicidal maniacs. Glasgow is not really like that. Sure, in some audiences there is a good chance that a homicidal maniac may just be there lurking amongst the audience, but you can usually spot them. I remember being confronted by an audience member once after a show who I’d managed to annoy. After I’d apologised she offered the reply, “Och, its awright pal. If I’d really been offended I’d have had yer kneecaps. Can I buy you a beer?”

That’s the kind of maniac that Glasgow can offer. One who can threaten to ruin your dancing career forever, but in the same breath will buy you a drink. Top tip in this situation: don’t let them buy you a drink. This is called danger avoidance.

There is no such thing as a typical Glasgow audience. The only thing you have to do is make them laugh, same as in any other town in the world. There is one thing that sets aside a Glasgow audience aside from most others, but I’ll come back to that.

Last year’s Glasgow comedy festival nearly destroyed me. In a good way though. I felt like I was living a double life. I worked full time in my office job during the day. I’d go home, be a dad and husband. Then at night I’d run around the city like a very low budget Challenge Anneka going from gig to gig.

It’s pretty hard to keep it together during that type of thing. At points you will be sitting on a train/taxi/bus/car going to another gig and think “I really just want to sit on my couch and have a shout of my xbox”. Then you get the thing keeps you going. It’s the thing that sets Glasgow aside. The audience reaction. If they like you, you will know.

Before I go I should really plug my show. My solo show is Work Life Balance,and it’s really all about the stuff I’d mentioned in this blog about trying to keep it together while my life seemed to be 100 miles an hour. Last years show got four stars, so hopefully I can better that.

As you can see self promotion is not one of my skills. See you soon!

See John Gavin's solo show Work Life Balance tonight, Friday 1 April at 8.30pm at Capitol. Find out more about this show here.

Daniel Sloss Guest Blog

2011-03-29T21:34:00.000+01:00

I love Glasgow. I love Glasgow in the way that most people not from Glasgow love Glasgow. I love it the way that the little nerdy kid loves his girlfriend despite the fact that he knows she is sleeping with absolutely everyone else, because it doesn't matter as long as he gets the occasional hand-job. It's a tough love, a love that I know that I give to the city, but that the city is never likely to return that love... Until the Glasgow Comedy Festival. It's at this time of year that Glasgow makes me feel like a pimp. Sure, I don't have a cane or a cool hat with feathers in it, but I still feel that cool (side note: I want a cane.).

I love gigging in Glasgow because it's just mental. Most other cities tone down their mentalness when guests come to visit: like a mum who is frantically cleaning the house before the guests arrive. Glasgow takes a shit on the coffee table lets the guests look at it, and they don't have the courage to ask why. One time I was gigging in Glasgow and I got heckled by a man, I put him down, he heckled again, I put him down again. Victory to me... Or so I thought. He piped up again, and before I could put him down with my hilarious comeback ("So's your mum") a very drunk woman from a hen party leaned over and smacked him with her "L" plate (not a euphemism) and yelled "You leave that wee boy alone!". It was like my own herpes ridden bodyguard. It was lovely.

Thats why I always go back to Glasgow. That's why everyone goes back. It has the "treat 'em mean, keep em keen" and it works. I'm bloody keen. I'm a whore for Glasgow, I'm not the pimp. Glasgow is the pimp. And I will swallow every metaphorical load it gives me because I know it loves me deep down.

See Daniel Sloss performing his solo show My Generation at the Garage this Friday 1 April. Find out more about the show here.

Find out more about Daniel Sloss at www.danielsloss.co.uk.

Photoblog: 28 March 2011

2011-03-28T17:57:00.000+01:00

Catch up with what's being going on at the festival so far with our photoblog. You can see all of the festival's photos on our flickr page here.

Greg McHugh performing with Rufus Hound and Smack the Pony's Sally Phillips at Celebrity Autobiography.

Photo credit: Richard Freeman (www.akarichy.com)

Milton Jones at the Magners Festival Club at the Stand.

Photo credit: Richard Freeman (www.akarichy.com)

Richard Herring at the Magners Festival Club at the Stand.

Photo credit: Richard Freeman (www.akarichy.com)

Carla Rhodes with Cecil Sinclair at the Stockholm Syndrome.

Photo credit: Grant Thistle (grant-thistle.tumblr.com)

Phil Nichol at the Magners Festival Club at the Stand.

Photo credit: Grant Thistle (grant-thistle.tumblr.com)

Iain Stirling Guest Blog

2011-03-23T12:48:00.000Z

Ok Glasgow,

I'm doing your comedy festival and it should be a right laugh. It's at Blackfriars, which is lovely, and Davey Connor is also on who is incredibly funny (probably why Russell Kane got him to do some tour support).

We do have a history at the festival. Our last show See Stirling Kane Comedy ended with me, drunkenly, being removed from the stage in front of a world renowned director (whom requested he remain nameless). Hopefully this year the whole thing will entirely more professional. Scrap that, it definitely will!

The last two years I've spent in London doing stand up in all the major clubs, presenting on CBBC (I won't have the dog with me) and was even lucky enough to be nominated for 'Best Newcomer' at the Chortle comedy awards. However, it feels so amazing to be back performing in Glasgow, the city in which a witnessed a man be sick in his own wife's handbag - bliss.

So do come. Me and Davey will be splitting an hour and we are both funny (promise). 8.30pm, 25th March, Blackfriars. It'll be lovely to have you.

See Iain Stirling and Davey Connor inTake Off Your Wristband it's Not That Kind of Festival at Blackfriars Basement this Friday 25 March. Find out more about the show here.

Follow Iain and Davey on twitter @IainDoesJokes and @DaveyConnor.

Amateur Transplants Guest Blog

2011-03-21T13:24:00.001Z

Dr Adam R Kay from the Amateur Transplants talks to us before their festival show on Thursday.

Every other comedian’s post on this blog starts, 'My first Glasgow Comedy Festival was in…' and then explores their humorous misconceptions about the city. I’m at a slight loss as this is my first Glasgow Comedy Festival, and because I've watched Supergran episodes since the age of four I know loads about the place. So I’m going to talk about the sleeper train instead.

Last year – due to a logistical problem whereby my boyfriend lived in Glasgow and I lived in London – I took the Caledonian sleeper 22 times. If you've never taken the sleeper service before, it's a cross between a train and the worst hotel in the world. You share a berth with a stranger, who is always either a pervert or has issues with urinary continence (NB. if your berth-mate is neither of these things, then it's probably you).

You climb into your bunk and the motion of the train rocks you gently to sleep. After 5 minutes of sleep you are jolted awake. You are merely awoken and disorientated, but your berth-mate screams, and if he is type B you may feel a few drips. This process repeats itself for the next nine hours before your breakfast is delivered by history's angriest lady. You quite like the idea of a breakfast muffin until you read the words 'contains chemically recovered egg' on the packaging and then you feel confused and unwell. The first time you read the words 'chemically recovered egg' you will text all your friends.

And then suddenly you’re in Glasgow Central station; where I will arrive on the sleeper on Thursday 24th – to sing smutty songs at Oran Mor. And if I look tired, you know why.

See Dr Adam Kay and Dr Suman Biswas in Amateur Transplants in Theatre at Oran Mor this Thursday 24 March. Click here for more show information.

Find out more about the Amateur Transplants at www.livetransplants.com and follow them on twitter @amateuradam and @amateursuman.

Greg Davies Guest Blog

2011-03-17T11:53:00.000Z

It took me a long time to not be frightened when coming to Glasgow.

Very early on in my stand up career I was the mc at a large gig and chatted to an Australia tourist in the crowd. I finished our exchange by welcoming the lady to 'England.' The resulting scene was like a much more violent and realistic Braveheart. As I was the MC I had to repeatedly come back on to stage and was hated a little bit more each time. The gig ended with a gentlemen at the back referring to me, entirely correctly on this occasion, as 'a six foot eight tower of pish.'

Mercifully after this hiccup playing Glasgow has always been brilliant fun and I can't wait to perform at the festival. I promise to remember where I am.

Greg will be performing his solo show on Monday28 March at the Garage. Click here for more show information.

Watch Greg on BBC1's Live at the Apollo here:

Dan Clark Guest Blog

2011-03-14T10:30:00.000Z

Coming to Glasgow to play the comedy festival is a bit like coming home for me.

I've spent a lot of time in Glasgow over the past three years. You see, I film my BBC3 sitcom How Not To Live Your Life there so I've lived in the city for a two-month period every year since 2008.

I love it there. The place and the people! There are great restaurants and great architecture. And I'm excited that the first show of my tour is there. But I have to admit, I didn't always have this attitude. Not that I ever had negative feelings towards the city, but in 2007 I was on my way up to do the comedy festival for the first time and I'm embarrassed to say that I was a bit nervous about what a Glaswegian audience would be like. Turns out I had a preconceived idea of what Glasgow would be like based on a misconceived reputation from about 20 years ago.

I thought that I'd be met with a 'Glasgow kiss' the minute someone heard my southern accent. And more specifically, I was worried the audience at my show would be aggressive and rowdy. I am ashamed of myself for thinking this, especially as it turns out Glasgow is one of the friendliest places I've ever been too in the UK.

Yes, it has it's fare share of nutters. When we filmed night-scenes for my sitcom in the Merchant City, we were constantly approached by shouty men in the street. In fact, one time a man in a wheelchair hurled abuse at us and not one member of the 25-strong crew, of which a lot were men, stood up to him. That's how frightening he was! But I love the colourful characters of Glasgow. It's what makes it interesting. That show I did in 2007 turned out to be one to the most fun stand-up gigs I've ever done. The crowd were rowdy but very friendly. It was in the Brel bar on Ashton Lane. The back room is like a greenhouse and when it rained during the show it added a strange ambiance. I loved that show. So I'm very excited to play Glasgow again.

Dan will be performing his solo show on Friday 25 March at the Garage. Click here for more show information.

Find out more about Dan at www.danclarkcomedy.co.uk.

Watch a clip of Dan in How Not To Live Your Life:

Susan Calman Guest Blog

2011-03-10T08:40:00.001Z

The Glasgow Comedy Festival has very special memories for me. I did my first half hour show in 2006 with Scott Agnew at the 13th Note and then my first ever full length show at Universal in 2007.

Not only has it given me the opportunity to perform when other comedy festivals required things like 'jokes' but it lets me perform in front of my home audience.

Rather oddly, as a Scottish comic I am often criticised for being too Scottish. Really. In fact I was once told if I could just be less Scottish I might do better. Being mischievous whenever anyone says that to me I am tempted to perform drunk, wearing a kilt whilst playing the bagpipes just to ramp up the stereotypes. But the joy of the GICF is that it gives opportunities to all nationalities to perform in front of one of the most appreciative and comedy literate audiences in the world.

Of course it’s not easy making the Scots laugh. I am used to the stares of those who were expecting something else. People who have confused me for Rhona Cameron or who think that I will tell 'jokes'. In no particular order my top three audience incidents are:

The woman who berated me for an hour last year for pretending to be Glaswegian when I was obviously from Edinburgh. I’m not. I’m from Glasgow. I live with someone from the East (I know, I know) and so have a slightly odd accent. Angry Woman wouldn’t listen to me even when I listed my previous home addresses, school and named all the pubs along Dumbarton Road.
The woman who sat with her arms folded in the front row of my gig. She would unfold them if she liked a joke, then cross them again when unhappy. It was like having the comedy reviewer from the Scotsman in the front row.
The man who came to see me, didn’t laugh and then as he left announced loudly 'I knew she was crap, I was just checking'.

I am not in anyway annoyed at these events, they make me laugh. Because the relationship that I have with an audience is the most important part of any show I do. I like to talk to the audience and find out about them. Don’t worry about that though! Some people come to shows and think that comics want to make fun of them. I don’t, I just like speaking to people and people like speaking to me. I have the kind of face that says 'tell me everything about you immediately!' I am the person that every drunk man will gravitate to at the end of the night because I remind them of their granddaughter or daughter. I always end up sitting next to the person on the bus that is desperate to tell their life story. And I always listen in to anyone’s telephone conversations if I can. Even through their living room windows. In fact my top three audience confessions are:

The man who admitted the woman he was with was his mistress.
The woman who admitted that she had always wanted to sleep with a woman and I was the woman she wanted to kick things off with.
The man who admitted he had robbed people of millions of pounds. To be fair he worked at RBS.

I am performing at the Citizens Theatre this year which is just about the most exciting thing in the world. It is a venue full of history and tradition and all I can think about is what I can do on the giant stage. Most comedy is performed in tiny rooms with tiny stages, but the Citz has a giant area for me to have fun with. So far I have choreographed a dance routine to the Casualty theme tune and a spectacular closing number involving my four cats in a performance entitled 'the Catrobats'. However, I may not have the insurance to go ahead with these. Don’t be disappointed. There’s plenty other fun to be had.

In March and April there is so much comedy to see in Glasgow it is almost embarrassing. Go and see the big guns but also support local acts too. Especially the women. Who are on at the Citizens Theatre. On the 6th April.

Susan will be performing her solo show Susan Calman's Happy Place on Wednesday 6 April at the Citizens Theatre. Click here for more show information.

Find out more about Susan at www.susancalman.com.

Watch Susan performing at the festival preview show in January on YouTube here.

Lee Camp Guest Blog

2011-03-07T11:43:00.008Z

WARNING: This blog post contains language which some may find offensive.

American stand-up and contributor to The Onion and The Huffington Post speaks to the festival ahead of his show on Sunday 27 March:

I’m thrilled to be playing the Glasgow Comedy Festival for many reasons, not the least of which is that audiences in Europe, if I may broadly and spectacularly generalize, seem to still remember how to pay attention and focus on a show. Sounds novel, doesn’t it? In my experience Americans are far more likely to get out their mobile phones during the show and text someone who is apparently FAR more important than the performer they’ve paid money to watch – probably someone like the Pope or Lady Gaga. We Americans think we’re so f**king important that every last school teacher or truck driver or university student has to update his or her Facebook every twelve minutes because the lives of thousands depend on it.

In the average American show at any given time at least two people have the warm glow of a mobile illuminating their crotch or their tits. I’ve been in many a show where someone (often in the front row) actually ANSWERS their f**king mobile during the show. They actually talk on the f**king phone! Unless your child has locked himself in a bank vault with a rattle snake and you’re the only one with the combination, there’s no reason to talk on your phone during a comedy show – and EVEN THEN, you should leave the showroom before telling your babysitter the code to the snake vault.

I’m not saying only Americans are a**holes. There are plenty everywhere around the world. After all, former President Bush has friends in Europe, and they MUST be c**ts. In fact, you reading this right now, you may be an a**hole for all I know. You may come from a long, proud line of a**holes. All I’m saying is that – if I had to blatantly generalize – Americans do not appreciate and focus on a performance, comedy or otherwise, as well as other parts of the world do… I take that back. Out of morbid curiosity I recently went to watch a competitive eating competition, and the audience seemed to give THAT a great deal of reverence.

In case you’re curious – you have not truly lived until you’ve seen a 200kg man with enormous breasts shoving hotdogs down his face hole at a tremendous speed. And yet people have the nerve to say gay marriage is unnatural and not what God intended?? If God exists, there is nothing he intends LESS than for immense human beings who aren’t hungry AT ALL to shove cow parts down their crocodile gullets with people cheering them on!

Anyway, come to my show on Sunday 27 March and we’ll figure this whole world out together.

Lee Camp will be performing his solo show Taking the Piss Out Of America on Sunday 27 March at Blackfriars Basement. Click here for more show information.

Find out more about Lee at leecamp.net.

Carla Rhodes Guest Blog

2011-03-03T10:51:00.010Z

The Continuing Story of Carla Rhodes Comes to Glasgow

by Cecil Sinclaire

Greetings and salutations fine Glaswegians! I'm Cecil Sinclaire, vaudeville legend! I perform with a New York City harlot, pardon me, starlet named Carla Rhodes. Our agent Tappy Fleaberg (the world's only tap dancing circus flea) chomped on his cigar and booked us at the glorious Glasgow Comedy Festival. I'll be making my big comeback and tossing saltwater taffies to the adoring masses!

I've decided to question Miss Rhodes about our spectacular show. Tell us a bit about the show and as quickly as possible!

Carla: The Continuing Story Of Carla Rhodes is a mash-up of rock'n'roll ventriloquism, comedy and original music - tied together by the thread of a young gal's dream of hitting the big time in New York City! I'm usually backed by my real live band The Extravaganzas, but in Glasgow I'll be backed by the Paranormals (my invisible ghost band)!

Cecil: The show is filled with wild jungle musics, which I don't approve of, but I believe it promises to be a rollicking good time! I'm the star and the whole show rests on my laurels, but what other inferior creatures are in the show?

Carla: Legendary rockers Mick Jagger and Keith Richards. A pigeon named Herschel Ragbottoms, who lives under the newspapers in the East Village. Under Bed Alligator pops up when I least expect it, manipulating me with his fear mongering tactics! Last but not least, you (Cecil) play a mysterious vaudeville legend who's been locked away in a trunk for over 80 years! Exactly like your real life persona!

Cecil: If only you could be locked away for 80 years! Ladies and Gents and folks in-between, do come and see us at the vaudeville palace known as Capitol on 19 March. Delight and revel in astonishment at The Continuing Story Of Carla Rhodes!

Carla and Cecil will be performing The Continuing Story of Carla Rhodes at Capitol on Saturday 19 March at 8.30pm. Click here for more show information.

Find out more about Carla at www.carlarhodes.net

Photo credit: Hanna Toresson

Stephen Callaghan Guest Blog

2011-02-28T08:48:00.006Z

What does the Glasgow Comedy Festival mean to me? In a word – everything. This festival is stitched so tightly into my life that without it I’m sure I would fall apart like a pair of Primark leggings.

It was at the festival that I cemented my marriage to my long-suffering comedy husband Davey Connor, and we gave birth to our first child, The Stockholm Syndrome (Capitol, 10pm every Saturday night throughout the comedy festival - plug number 1). It was at the festival that I met the first boyfriend I ever wanted to introduce to my wonderful mother (Janet Callaghan, check her out, she’s awesome – plug number 2). And this year it will be the place that I perform my debut solo show (Stephen Callaghan’s Memory Box, Capitol, Sunday 3 April, 8pm – plug number 3).

But what’s in it for me? I hear you cry. Glasgow is a ridiculously understated, fantastic city. It tingles with a beautiful self-deprecating wit. It is cool, but doesn’t feel the need to rub your nose in it (not like flashy Edinburgh). At times it will show you its hard side, but that is for your own good, and it will always give you a wee cuddle after it. The people of Glasgow, performers, organisers and audiences, harbour a burning love for their city that oozes out of everything they do.

It’s this passion that makes the Glasgow Comedy Festival one of the best in the world. Step into any show (especially The Stockholm Syndrome or Stephen Callaghan’s Memory Box – quick replug) and you will find it incredibly difficult not to be swept up in the passion that us Glaswegians feel for the place we live.

If it’s your first time attending the festival then I’m incredibly jealous. You are about to fall in love in a way that you have not experienced since you were 14 and pissed off Diamond White, or your strong cider of choice. There is nothing you can do. Don’t try to fight it, you would only be doing yourself a disservice. My advice: book some tickets, sit back and prepare to laugh your sexual organs off.

Stephen will be performing his debut solo show Stephen Callaghan's Memory Box at Capitol on Sunday 3 April at 8pm. Click here for more show information.

You can also see him in The Stockholm Syndrome every Saturday during the festival at 10pm (19, 26 March and 2, 9 April). Click here for more show information.

Find out more about Stephen here and on the Stockholm Syndrome website.

Giggle Beats Guest Blog

2011-02-24T10:11:00.004Z

North East comedy is experiencing somewhat of a renaissance at the moment. The emergence of comedy clubs such as The Grinning Idiot, The Laughing Penguin, Hilarity Bites and the forthcoming Stand Comedy Club in Newcastle provide up and coming comics with many a platform to showcase and develop their material in the region; the result is a plethora of young, talented comedians from the North East, and some of those acts, like Kai Humphries, Carl Hutchinson and John Whale, will be travelling to Scotland next month for the annual Glasgow Comedy Festival.

Andrew Dipper, editor of comedy website GiggleBeats.co.uk, guides you through some of the best Northern acts on offer this spring:

SARAH MILLICAN

Tuesday 5 April, 8pm, Old Fruitmarket.

Perhaps the most successful Northern comedian in the country at the moment, South Shields born Sarah Millican has sold out her show faster than anyone else at this year’s festival and it’s easy to see why. Thanks largely to her cult following and the everywoman feel to her humour, Millican’s now a regular fixture on comedy programmes such as Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow, and those of you lucky enough to see her on 5 April are in for a real treat.

Click here for show information.

KAI HUMPHRIES

Sunday 10 April, 8.30pm, Blackfriars Basement

Like Millican, Kai Humphries has experienced an astounding amount of success in such a short space of time. Humphries recently turned professional after just under two years in comedy and runs the monthly Punch-Drunk Comedy Club in Cramlington. He’s a natural entertainer who has a clear passion for his comedy and his debut solo show, Evolution, garnered mainly positive reviews at last year’s Fringe. Kai Humphries joins Sean Grant for one night only on 10 April.

Click here for show information.

JASON COOK

Wednesday 30 March, 9.30pm, Stand Comedy Club

Jason Cook has been one of my favourite comedians for a long time now. Recently nominated for best compere in the Chortle awards, Cook is at ease with audience interaction but is also a superb storyteller. If you like your comedy with charm, poignancy and a little bit of silliness then Jason Cook is your man, and you can see him for an hour at the Stand Comedy Club on 30 March.

Click here for show information.

CARL HUTCHINSON & JOHN WHALE

The Triumphant Return of Jimmy & Jackie, Friday 25 March, 7.30pm, West

I watched Carl Hutchinson perform quite recently and he’s came such a long way over the past few years. Hutchinson began comedy in 2006 and since then has won countless competitions and awards – he’s another of my favourite comedians, and you can read my interview with Carl here too if you like.

A lot of up and coming comedians try their hand at deadpan comedy but very few enjoy the success John Whale has experienced. Naturally Whale’s been likened to Stewart Lee in the past, but you can see why – his material is well-carved, dark and there’s a confidence to his act that’s simply infectious. He’s one of the less experienced Northern acts on offer at this year’s festival, but he and Carl Hutchinson are more than worth your time and money.

Click here for show information.

CHRIS RAMSEY

Sunday 20 March, 8.30pm, Blackfriars Basement

Perhaps 2011 is Chris Ramsey’s year. Having recently toured with both Al Murray and fellow 2011 festival star Russell Kane, South Shields comedian Ramsey is a man in demand; so much so his website even crashed after his recent appearance on Comedy Rocks alongside Jason Manford. If you missed him on TV he's performing alongside Gareth Richards on 20 March, and you'll probably be seeing a lot more of him in the near future.

Click here for show information.

THE GINGE, THE GEORDIE & THE GEEK

Sunday 27 March, 8pm, Tron Theatre

Sketch comedy troupe The Ginge, The Geordie & The Geek had a very successful Fringe and recently supported Michael McIntyre at the Childish Things charity gig. You can read my interview with them here, and catch them in Glasgow on 27 March.

Click here for show information.

Giggle Beats was founded by Andrew Dipper and Richard Milburn in June 2010 as a means of promoting comedy talent performing in the North of England. On www.gigglebeats.co.uk you’ll find reviews of some of the best (and worst!) acts working the circuit from their team of comedy enthusiasts, interviews with some of the top comics in the country and everything you need to know about the region’s comedy scene.

Des McLean Guest Blog

2011-02-21T14:24:00.004Z

Ah Glaswegians! They are self-deprecating, don't suffer fools gladly, but like a right good laugh. That's why the Glasgow Comedy Festival is now in its ninth year, and I've been lucky enough to be part of it from the start.

Well, when I say lucky, I didn't feel that way the first time I was asked to be involved. I still remember lying in bed, awake at 3am saying to myself 'bloody train station, oh no, why?' I had to get up at 5.30am ready to perform to bunch of bewildered commuters at Glasgow Central Station running late for their train. It was like a sadder and lonelier version of the T-Mobile flashmob advert.

My comedy busking continued the next year when it was 'on the buses', performing stand up to a bunch of bleary-eyed passengers from Glasgow's Buchanan Street Bus Station all the way to Edinburgh and back. The ones who weren't listening to their iPods were staring out the window or pretending to read their free newspaper upside down, It was on the BBC News so the viewers at home could witness my struggle. The following year was on the trains, then it was shopping malls then the Glasgow Underground - all nice and scary PR stunts to get punters in the mood for the festival and give me more sleepless nights! But it was exciting fun and stood me in good stead for the shows coming up.

I can't complain about my shows at the comedy festival. I started out in the Thirteenth Note - a basement bar in the Trongate, then moved on to the Arches, the Old Fruitmarket, Glasgow City Halls, the Theatre Royal, The King's Theatre, and last year, the amazing Clyde auditorium. This was a very effective laxative which was filmed for TV, and DVD. Also along the way I loved taking comedy to the communities around Glasgow, including Easterhouse, Drumchapel, Castlemilk.

This year I am honoured to be the opening headline act at the festival. I will be playing the King's Theatre on the Thursday 17 March, and what was my stategy for choosing this date? Well, my wife Alison and I are due our first baby at the end of March. Alison asked, 'When's the first available date.......?'

Des McLean will be performing his solo show Live at the King's 2011 on Thursday 17 March at the King's Theatre. Click here for more show information.

Find out more about Des McLean at www.desmclean.com.

Craig Hill Guest Blog

2011-02-17T11:43:00.004Z

It's already been quite a busy start to the year! After heading down to Cardiff and Birmingham to perform at The Glee Club (no Sue Sylvester- how disappointing!) I've also done two solo shows on my tour -one at Macrobert Arts Centre in Stirling and another at a particularly mental Dundee Rep gig where a man confessed to having a fetish for his wife dressing as a penguin! I asked where she was tonight and someone shouted 'Edinburgh Zoo!'

I also had a great night in London at the launch of the Glasgow Comedy Festival at the Leicester Square Theatre with a fab line up of comedians who are appearing.

For the first time at the Glasgow Comedy Festival this year I'm doing two nights! How exciting. Last year at Oran Mor loads of lovely Glesga folk couldnae get in so we decided to do another show this year which I'm now thinking I should have entitled 'Oran Mor and more'!

I still talk about last year's show even now, where a wummin from Mull of Kintyre with a home perm shaved at the sides was renamed 'Mullet Kintyre', and the gayest guy on earth worked for a roofing company called 'Ruby Roofing!' - precious! That's the thing about performing my show in Glasgow - the gigs throw up these real gems of characters that I don't think you'd find everywhere else. Glaswegians have real balls and are generally inherently funny and so want to really join in with the show and give you the quality of banter that makes for totally one-off moments that you couldn't plan.

So needless to say I'm wetting myself to go back (in a kilt that could really be disastrous!) So bring yer da, yer maw, yer granny, yer granda and 'Why Don't You Come Down The Front?' See you there guys! X

Craig Hill will be performing his solo show Why Don't You Come Down the Front? at Oran Mor on Friday 1 and Saturday 2 April. Click here for show information.

Find out more about Craig at mrcraighill.com including his blog.

Nick Revell Guest Blog

2011-02-14T15:24:00.004Z

I was gigging in Glasgow the summer before last; I opened with a little comment about the weather - It was a beautiful weekend; hot, sunny, people walking round in tee shirts and shades; so different from the previous time I’d been there - January, freezing cold, driving rain, arctic winds; people walking round in tee shirts, shades….Not a great joke but a nice one to open with (obvously you don’t get my elegant delivery off the page, so do come and see me at The Stand on March 27th) and it did its job.

Point is though, afterwards, I’m having a quiet pint in a quiet corner of the club, (too much of a grown-up now to seek post-gig attention. Don’t need it. Sad really.) A girl comes up and says - “Very funny set, by the way, but it should be: in the winter, folk had on tee shirts, shades…and a wee scarf.” She has this little gesture to go with ‘wee scarf,’ and then she’s away on the back of my appreciative laughter.

Next night ‘wee scarf’ was in. And the gesture. And it killed. Perfect.

So thank you, whoever you were. Attentive, sharp, generous and poetic. What more could you want from an audience?

That’s why I love Glasgow.

See Nick's festival show Revell Yell on Sunday 27 March 2011 at the Stand Comedy Club. Click here for show information.

Find out more about Nick at www.nickrevell.com.

Zombie Science 1Z Guest Blog

2011-02-10T16:12:00.003Z

Hello there Zombiology Students,

My name is Doctor Austin, Theoretical Zombiologist and Head of the Zombie Institute for Theoretical Studies (ZITS) at the University of Glasgow.

Many people are unaware that the world’s leading Zombieism research facility is based right here in Scotland’s biggest city. The Institute has existed since the early 19th Century before Glasgow even had a comedy festival. It was a dark time. Imagine being forced to go to Edinburgh to attend a comedy festival,

not pleasant at all.

This year I’m very excited to be taking part in the MGICF with my lecture Zombie Science 1Z. They say that laughter is the best medicine, and although my patients prefer drugs & surgery, a wee joke here and there often helps.

In Zombie Science 1Z we aim to increase awareness of the Zombieism condition, dispel misconceptions about zombies perpetrated by popular culture and inspire the public about biological sciences. There will of course be live science demonstrations. In fact I’ve just finished turning my nephew’s tennis racquet into a crossbow for one of them. He did try to complain, but obviously I had a crossbow.

All the best and don’t let the fear of Zombieism stop you enjoying all the brilliant acts at this year’s festival,

Doctor Austin ZITS MSz BSz DPep

Our research is generously supported by the Wellcome Trust & University of Glasgow - www.zombiescience.co.uk

Doctor Austin will be giving his lecture Zombie Science 1Z at the Queen Margaret Union on Thursday’s 17th, 24th, 31st March and 7th April at 8.00pm. Click here for show information.

Jena Friedman Guest Blog

2011-02-03T15:58:00.012Z

This week's guest blogger, American comic Jena Friedman, tells us about making her festival debut back in 2010:

The last and only other time I was in Scotland was to visit (I think in Glasgow the term is peg) my ex-insignificant other who was working at a crusty youth hostel in Edinburgh. I backpacked around a bit, stopped by Lock Ness and Stirling (where I saw the Braveheart statue modeled after my sixth favorite* anti-semite Mel Gibson) but never quite made it to Glasgow... until 2010.

Through divine intervention, I landed a spot in the Glasgow International Comedy Festival to wow local lads and lassies with my comedy vomit.

Glaswegians have really dark comedic sensibilities. Prior to the festival, I had never heard an audience laugh at an AIDS joke before I even got the punch line. They also REALLY like to get mutted (which is awesome because alcohol pairs well with comedy). During one show at Maggie Mays, I accidentally repeated a joke onstage - first time ever - because it was my third show of the night and I too was slightly dunted (from all the free cheeky water courtesy of festival organizers). The audience was so supportive of my gaffe that they laughed even louder when they heard it the second time!

During another show at the Stand, a burd fell off her chair, took two glasses down with her and landed on her coupon. I was frichted (thinking she may be deed), while her trippen troopettes and the rest of the audience cheered on before anyone could even measure her pulse. Turns out the swamp donkey was just really charred and apparently Glaswegians are that accustomed to public displays of inebriation to think anything else of it.

* My top five favorite anti-semites, in no particular order, are Roald Dahl, Immanuel Kant, Edgar Degas, T.S Eliot and Mrs. Rochna, my rock sculpture teacher in Chile who gifted me the only slab of marble in her studio to work with because I had tendonitis in my wrists and she had bad Jew-dar.

Jena will be performing at the festival with Elaine Malcolmson on Friday 8 April at the Griffin. Click here for show information.

Find out more about Jena at jenafriedman.com, including her blog.

The Ginge, the Geordie and the Geek Guest Blog

2011-01-28T12:50:00.005Z

The festival is delighted to present the first guest blog of 2011 from the "three Messiahs of comedy", The Ginge the Geordie and the Geek:

Ginge: Boys, listen up. We’re writing a blog.

Geek: About what?

Ginge: I dunno, our insane lives since, for some reason, we decided to spend every waking hour together for two and a half years in order to get people to laugh at us.

Geordie: When you put it like that it doesn’t seem such a great idea.

Ginge: So we’re gonna write something personal and heart felt, but we’re not gonna mention our show at the Tron theatre on March 27th.

Geek: Yeah that would be a cheap publicity trick!

Geordie: So what do we write?

PAUSE. THEY ALL THINK VERY VERY HARD…

Ginge: I’m just gonna start and see what happens.

Geek: But that’s madness!!!

Ginge: There comes a time in every comedian’s life where they have to step up to the blog.

Geordie: Be careful Ginge. May the comedy God be with you.

Geek: We’ll jump in and help if we can!

Ginge: So… it’s that time of year again folks. I’m writing this blog at 2am traveling back from doing a show in London. We’re in the Geordie’s tiny Daihatsu Charade with 42 props. two large flats, six shots of coffee each and a dream. I can’t wait to get back home though. My maw’ll be waiting with open arms.

Geek: My dad’s waiting for me.

Geordie: I just get a cuddle off a jakey and a swig of his Buckfast.

Ginge: Which is quite a difference from being on the BBC’s Dick and Dom show with Catherine Tate.

Geek: Which, by March, will probably be available to watch on BBC iplayer through a link on our website. Just thought I’d point that out.

Geordie: What a mad twelve months it’s been! Before the Magners Glasgow International Comedy Festival last year we didn’t even have clothes!

Geek: We had to do a photo shoot in just our y-fronts for the poster. Luckily both it and the Edinburgh festival show sold out though and so with money not being an obstacle, we got new ones from Primark for this year.

Ginge: And then we went on the world tour……performing to packed houses in

Preston, Newcastle and Nottingham - supporting Johnny Vegas in Nottingham was very surreal for a number of reasons.

Geek: We got to stay in top hotels.

Ginge: Like the Travelodge next to the red light district.

Geek: We even got to share a bed.

Geordie: I’ve got to admit that wasn’t one of my highlights.

Ginge: And then on to the bright lights of London. Showing the southerners how to have a laugh and shooting our pilot.

Geek: Are we gonna write anything meaningful?

Ginge: I’m not sure we have it in us to be honest. Best stick to the silly stuff.

Geordie: Aye, good idea. I don’t think this blog is gonna win us any awards for literature.

Ginge: So… after all that, it’s great to come back to perform our best of 2009/10 show to our home crowd. Especially at such a great venue like the Tron.

Geordie: Which is handy for me as I only live down the road.

Geek: You don’t live there, you squat in your girlfriend’s flat.

Ginge: And gets nagged 24/7 so he says.

Geordie: It’s the price I pay for following my dream and not paying rent apparently.

Ginge: Anyway, on that note, I’d just like to ask the kind readers to come and see our show to ease the burden on the Geordie’s girlfriend. In fact, you could say that by coming to our show, you’ll actually be helping save his relationship! Now that’s meaningful!!!

Help save the Geordie's relationship with his girlfriend and see The Ginge, the Geordie and the Geek at the Tron Theatre on Sunday 27 March at 8pm. Click here for show information.

You can also find out more at www.gingegeordiegeek.com including the GGG blog.

The festival blog is back!

2011-01-20T11:38:00.004Z

Thursday 17 March - Sunday 10 April:
400 shows. 51 venues. 25 days.

Today we launched the 2011 Magners Glasgow International Comedy Festival programme, and the festival blog is back to give you a taste of some of the comedy coming your way!

This year we've got stand-up, sketch, film, cabaret, music, theatre, workshops, children’s and (for the first year) opera performances on the programme, from international stars and homegrown talent.

In case March 17 seems too far away, we've invited some of our acts to guest blog for us over the next few weeks to keep us going!

In the meantime, check out the programme at www.glasgowcomedyfestival.com, pick up a copy at one of the 51 festival venues across the city, or it will be included in the Sunday Herald on 30 January.

Tickets are available from the ticketSOUP.com festival hotline on 0844 395 4005 or www.ticketSOUP.com

How Do I Get Up There? Guest Blog

2010-03-26T11:35:00.005Z

James Kirk and Chris Forbes from Glasgow's critically acclaimed sketch group How Do I Get Up There? talk about their show at the GilmorehillG12 Theatre tomorrow (Saturday 27th March).

James: "I know it is a terrible cliché but Glasgow audiences really are the best and that's what makes this festival a highlight for all comedy lovers across Britain. Glasgow Comedy Festival 2010 was always in our minds. We knew this was going to be a landmark for us. Our biggest venue to date, some new material and a couple of big set pieces, has meant sleepless nights have become all to frequent. With it being a theatre venue we have decided to pull out all the stops by getting in some very special guests and using a few extra gizmos to hopefully make it a very special night."

Chris: "It feels like there is a lot of pressure on us for this year’s festival show. We have been overwhelmed by the support and interest people have shown in our sketch group and I think our biggest fear is that, after last year’s successful break-through into the world of comedy, we might disappoint people or feel like we’ve let people down. We truly hope this will not be the case and we have tried to create a bigger and, hopefully, better show than ever before to give people a full on night of entertainment filled with sketches, songs and special guests, to try and give it an old school/variety/ musical hall kind of feel."

"In our humble opinion Glasgow Comedy Festival is the best comedy festival in Britain. The Edinburgh Fringe is obviously a big deal but it also seems a bit too manufactured and artificial in comparison. Glasgow is real, Glasgow is exciting. Glasgow is the sort of place where you feel you have achieved something if you can go the whole night without getting into some sort of altercation. Most importantly, Glasgow, at this time of year, is the best place to find the future stars of Scottish comedy and there is plenty of them. Billy Kirkwood, Scott Agnew, Mark Nelson and John Gavin to name but a few. Scottish comedy is on the verge of being very special indeed and this festival is the best place to see this in action."

Find How Do I Get Up There? online at www.howdoigetupthere.com

How Do I Get Up There? will be performing their new show Avant Garde this Saturday 27th March 2010 at GilmorehillG12 at 7.30pm. Find out more here.

Special offer: Get two tickets for the price of one for this show by calling our festival hotline on 0844 395 4005 and quoting code 'festivalweb2-4-1'.

Photoblog: 25th March

2010-03-25T14:03:00.013Z

Want to know what we've been getting up to at the festival so far? Here's a taster of our flickr photostream - check out all our photos at www.flickr.com/glasgowcomedy

Backstage at the Magners Festival Club at the Stand Comedy Club. Photo credit: Grant Thistle (www.grant-thistle.com). From L-R: Marc Maron, Lucy Porter, Richard Herring, Fred MacAulay and Chris Forbes.

Susan Calman at the festival launch at the Old Fruitmarket. Photo credit: Grant Thistle (www.grant-thistle.com). Her solo show at Oran Mor this Saturday is sold out, but you can catch her on Friday 26th March when she will be hosting the Wicked Wenches Special at the Women's Library. Find out more here.

Kevin Bridges and Bill Burr Photo credit: Grant Thistle (www.grant-thistle.com). Saturday 20th March at the Magners Festival Club at the Stand Comedy Club after Bill's solo show at the King's Theatre.

Scott Agnew at the Citizens Theatre. Photo credit: Grant Thistle (www.grant-thistle.com). Supporting Des Clarke at his Homecoming show on Tuesday 16th March. Scott will be performing his solo show Pride: In The Name of Love at 8.30pm at Maggie Mays tonight, Thursday 25th March. Find out more here.

Sketch group: How Do I Get Up There? Photo credit: Grant Thistle (www.grant-thistle.com) On stage at the Citizens Theatre. They will be performing their show Avant Garde this Saturday 27th March at GilmorehillG12. Find out more here.

Bratchy Guest Blog

2010-03-24T10:44:00.003Z

I can’t really describe myself as a veteran of many things. Drinking alcohol perhaps? Well, I’ve being doing that in varying amounts for roughly sixteen years, so that might be in with a shout. Masturbation? Well, I’ve been doing that in varying amounts for… oh, you can guess the rest.

But outside of these incredibly worthy (and fun) endeavours, I can’t claim to be experienced enough at anything to be considered worthy of veteran status. I have, however, performed in various capacities at every Glasgow Comedy Festival since its inaugural year, so perhaps I could comfortably be described as an old hand at Weegieland’s biggest festival of fun. (Or uncomfortably, depending on your point of view.)

I’m glad to say I have, since that first year, watched the festival get exponentially bigger and better every year. And every year I have a blast. Like many other west coast based comics, March is easily becoming my favourite month on the comedy calendar. I live in Glasgow, you see, and it’s a city I love, a city that regularly makes me laugh – it’s quite easy to glean material from a short trip down Sauchiehall Street on a Saturday night, observing all the attendant orange-skinned, scantily-clad, pukey carnage. But what’s even better is being able to jump in a taxi and travel to two or three gigs a night to try out said material.

And so the festival is upon us again, in its eighth year, and is indeed bigger and better than ever. I, for one, can’t wait. My show, Beer, Loathing and Lost Wages, has a loose theme, about me being somewhat of a reformed party animal. Like, I got fed up with going out on a Friday night and before I knew it, it’s Sunday afternoon and I’m in a stranger’s house watching Finding Nemo with the volume down. That lifestyle left me skint, and knackered. The comedy festival does as well, but in a good way.

Ah well, as they say, “no sweat for a vet.”

A veteran, that is.

Bratchy will be performing his solo show Beer Loathing and Lost Wages at 8.30pm, Wednesday 24th March at Brel. Find out more here.

Rob Rouse Guest Blog

2010-03-21T18:14:00.003Z

Dear Glasgow, I have an admission to make. This is the first 'blog' I have ever written in my life. I've never done one on my website, on myspace, not never before, never ever. Not one.

I have the same uneasy relationship with twitter, I know it's handy for someone in my line of work, so I do it sporadically, but there's always a sense of 'Should I really be putting this out there? Who would actually give a fuck?!' every time I tweet. Also I'm fully aware that this sounds ridiculous coming from someone whose job it is to stand on a stage every night and talk and shout at complete and utter strangers with the purpose of making them laugh, that feels for all the world like one of the most natural things to do, but is an utter contradiction. So am I.

I've always been much more into 'doing' than talking about it. I always think Glasgow is very much a doing it kind of city too. Whenever I've visited, it's been impossible not to be swept up by the buzz of the city, the excitement, the passion, the directness and the sheer bloody mindedness of people to enjoy themselves. Living in England it's a massively refreshing contrast. Ask any performer; I've got mates in bands and they always site Glasgow as the best night on the tour because people always go absolutely fucking nuts from the very first song, no chin scratching, just full on from the bell, right to the end, then it generally continues out into the street and on the trains, buses and pavements home. And that's a fairly standard Wednesday evening, best not to go completely mental on a school night.

And it's not to do with some stereotypical comedy idea of everyone being pissed and lagered up either. It runs deeper than that. I think it's just ingrained, you're born with it. Your wear you hearts on your sleeves and the world is the better a place for it. And for that reason I'm delighted to be taking part in the Festival on Wednesday March 24th with my show My Family and the dog that scared Jesus. A show about huge changes, experiencing massive things things for the first time. And it also contains the filthiest story about a dog I hope you've every heard, although it's thoroughly justified artistically!

And to top it off Glasgow, you've just popped my ripe and swollen blogging cherry, you filthy dirty lovely people!

See you on 24th March.

Rob. xxx

Check out Rob online at www.robrouse.com or on twitter @robrouse.

Rob will be performing his solo show My Family and the Dog that Scared Jesus at Universal on Wednesday 24th March at 8.30pm. Find out more here.

Introducing the Magners Festival Club podcast

2010-03-19T14:43:00.005Z

Richard Melvin introduces the new Magners Festival Club podcast:

Sometimes a comedy club can be quite an intimidating place, both for the members of the audience who’ve chosen to sit near the front and for the nervous comedians pacing around backstage.

Well for me, it’s been scary for a whole different set of reasons. I’ve been making the 'Live At The Stand Comedy Club Podcast' - a programme that includes stand-up recorded at The Magners Festival Club and backstage interviews with some of the biggest names in comedy. Most of the interviews start with words “You’ve just stepped off stage… how did it go?” Thankfully, so far everyone has replied with an enthusiastic “Brilliant!”

Amazingly, just after a comedian steps off stage, there seems to be a small window open, right in the middle of their soul, so some of the chats we’ve recorded have been extremely revealing.

Last night, for example Miles Jupp, Gary Tank Commander, Mike Wozniak, Susan Calman and Robin Ince all excelled on stage, helped along with a few words of encouragement from their backstage buddies Dara O’Briain and Frankie Boyle. Dara and Frankie hadn’t seen each other since Frankie quit Mock The Week, so they had a lot to catch up on! The banter was electrifying! I even managed to record some of it – so make sure you download the next podcast.

It’s available to listen to here on The Stand’s website or you can download it via iTunes. The first one is up now – and I’ve got loads of great material coming up over the next few weeks – so be sure to subscribe! It’s free. Oh and by the way…. It’s extremely rude; so if you’re easily offended, don’t bother.

Richard Melvin will be recording live at the Stand Comedy Club at the Magners Festival Club which runs Thursday - Saturday every weekend during the festival.

More information about the Magners Festival Club

Listen to the first podcast at the Stand website

Download the podcast via iTunes

Little Howard Guest Blog

2010-03-17T08:10:00.014Z

Me and Big Howard are coming to The Magners Glasgow Comedy Festival, but because I am six, I'm not allowed to drink any of the Magners.

We are looking forward to doing our show Little Howard And The Magic Pencil Of Life And Death in Glasgow because Scottish people are very nice. Most of them are anyway. We went on Stephen Jardine and Michelle MacManus' TV show and he tried to hit me! Just because I said he reminded me of Fern Britton. She was very nice though. I can't believe she played Taggart.

Michelle MacManus is very good at singing. Stephen Jardine can't even sing a note! How did he get a job as a TV presenter!? Who is he anyway?! I've never seen him on any reality TV shows. I hate it when people get on telly without having earned it on reality TV.

Anyway, we're looking forward to doing our show in Glasgow. I've done some research and I've found out what "Glasgow" means, have a look at what I found out on this clip:

Please do come along to our show and say hello to us afterwards.

Will that do, because I need the toilet?

Check out Little Howard talking to Michelle MacManus and Stephen Jardine on The Hour here (part four; available for a limited time).

He's also online here at www.littlehoward.co.uk

Little Howard will be performing with Big Howard in Little Howard and the Magic Pencil of Life and Death at the King's Theatre, Glasgow at 2.30pm on Saturday 20th March.

Bruce Devlin Guest Blog

2010-03-10T17:15:00.003Z

Well it that's time of year again when the other comedy festival starts. I remember back in its infancy staying in a lot of hotels with "Scottish Comedy Legend Jane Mackay". We pop over from Edinburgh, ply our filth at a few gigs then get on with the serious business of "networking", which as you can imagine was really just lamming into litres of gin, terrorising the gay community at large and staying in various hotels.

One particular evening, an establishment in the west of the city did put the willies up us and not in the way either of us would have liked (nudge nudge, wink wink). There we were, comatose, when someone burst in our room demanding our autographs as they had seen us in the bar downstairs and thought we were Jo Brand and Dom Jolly respectively. Jane politely asked them to leave and when they wouldn't I threw a bedside table at them. They then promptly left. Also in another city centre establishment a man was convinced we were the same person as at different points of the same evening we had on the same dress. That's a long very long story, however it goes to show just how stupid some people are.

Journeys to Glasgow were problematic as on one occasion we saw fit to travel with a ready-mixed keg of gin and slim. Running late, we both ran onto the platform at Haymarket and once on the train promptly opened the keg and it went everywhere, much to the horror of the bint sitting opposite. She soon calmed down when we offered to take her to Bonapartes (the lovely bar in the station) where we did speed drinking for an hour then went to a show, which I can't remember.

Glasgow and its festival have very fond memories for me - there really are a lot of good things on and I'm on almost constantly and will be tweeting throughout (www.twitter.com/brucedevlin), so do come to one of my shows or follow my filth on twitter. Have a fantastic festival and STAY ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Find Bruce Devlin online at www.brucedevlin.co.uk You can catch Bruce performing at the following festival shows:

Stand Up @Sloans : Thursday 11 March, 8.30pm, Sloans

Comedy Out WEST: Friday 12 & Friday 19th March, 9pm WEST Brewery

The Late Show: Friday 12th & Saturday 13th March, 11pm, Blackfriars Basement

Best of Red Raw 2010 with BBC SCotland: Monday 15 & Monday 22 March, 8.30pm, Universal

Magners Festival Club: Thursday 25th (10pm), Friday 26th (10.30pm) & Saturday 27th (10.30pm), Stand Comedy Club

Fullmooners Guest Blog from Tim FitzHigham

2010-03-06T09:05:00.006Z

What runs through my mind when I hear 'you're playing Glasgow Festival'? Several questions rattle round my head. The normal comedian’s paranoia of ‘will they laugh?’ comes way down the list. Above it: will I get to the gig without dying? This happened on my first trip to Glasgow when, as the most English man since a German first stepped onto a muddy fen in Norfolk, I tried to get the up to date England rugby score in a crowded pub with a very English accent and the words ‘has anyone seen the rugger?’

Next on the list: will I make it through the gig alive and get home without being dismembered or shot? This happened to my Fullmooners co-thing Maxwell who on his first gig in Glasgow was chased out of the theatre and for three miles by a man with a bullwhip. Fullmooners is a gig distracted by anarchy. Putting it in a festival program is like setting the timer on a bomb. Two years ago Fullmooners in Glasgow turned into a sit-in protest against the police who were attempting to send the audience home. Last year a member of the audience came up to me in the loo. As I mentioned I’m a very English man with an accent to cut not only glass but sheets of metal and a face like the missing link between Gonzo and a Fraggle. The man in the loo smiled (this could be good or bad) and hugged me (again could go either way) thanking me for the greatest Billy Connelly impersonation he’d ever seen. And three years ago I finished the gig in a laundry basket.

The Glasgow audience may drink hard, they may punch hard but they laugh far harder than any other I’ve played and I can’t wait to be back… come see Fullmooners and work out what debris the ticking bomb will throw out this year.

Find out more about Maxwell's Fullmooners online at www.maxwellsfullmooners.com.

The Fullmooners will be performing at the Old Fruitmarket at midnight on Saturday 13th March. Click here for more information.

Photo credit Claes Gellerbrink.

Tiernan Douieb Guest Blog

2010-03-05T10:44:00.002Z

How good is Glasgow? Well take ‘good’ and add six times more ‘good’ and some things and what have you got? Well no concept of maths apparently. But ignoring that, Glasgow, I think Glasgow is pretty damn awesome. I had never actually been there until I went to the festival last year. I know, I know, just where had I been all this time? Well, other places than Glasgow. That’s why I hadn’t been there before. While I’m not blaming Glasgow’s location on anyone, had it been somewhere I’d already been before, then I’d have definitely been there already.

That first trip, despite being on Friday 13th, was anything but unlucky and involved much fun, great audiences, booze, being asked for money by a druggie on Glasgow Green and eating noodles on Sauchiehall Street at 4am. What more could a chap ask for? How about an actual hall full of socks? I have thought about this a lot but I can’t really see how that would help anyone. Then again I have lots of odd socks, so perhaps an international odd sock swap shop on Sauchiehall Street would be brilliant? I shall write a letter to someone important and see what happens.

I return again on the 13th of this month. I can’t help but feel it’s a clever plan to ensure I don’t have a crap time on a supposedly unlucky day. Then I realised that from Glasgow’s point of view, the 13th is the day when that beardy hobbit twat appears to shout about halls full of socks, which seems fairly unlucky really. Just be thankful I haven’t even got started on the lack of royalty in Princes Square or where on earth the host of Art Attack is, on Buchanan Street.

Check out Tiernan Douieb online - and his regular blog - at www.tiernandouieb.co.uk.

Tiernan will be performing his solo show at the Buff Club on Saturday 13th March. Find out more here. He'll also be performing at the Glasgow Kids Comedy Club at the Stand Comedy Club in the afternoon on Saturday 13th March. Click here for more information.

John Gavin Guest Blog

2010-03-03T13:20:00.004Z

So it's nearly that time of year again. The time of year when one of the largest comedy festivals around is only a 20 minute train journey away from my home. Being from the west of Scotland, the Glasgow Comedy Festival is something to get really excited about. This year’s festival has so many different shows that every taste is catered for. Not only that, being a non-driver, it means that there is loads of gigs that I can get do and get home from without having to get a train home too early.

This will be my second festival as a comedian. It also marks a personal milestone as it will be my first ever solo show. The show has been in the back of my mind since October really. The only thing is, it was really at the back of my mind, hiding like a bat. I say a bat as it only came out of hiding at night when I was trying to get to sleep. You have no idea how long I have been kept awake at night by such thoughts as:

"What should my poster look like?" - this was a huge pain for me and has changed so many times I lost count.
"What should I pick as an intro track?" - being a real music geek this is a problem. The last time I did it the first list of potential songs stretched to 164 songs. The worst of it is that the layout of the venue means that if I wanted an intro track I'd have to walk past the mic and physically turn it off myself.
"Could I get some fireworks?" - I won't even go into the directions my brain took me that night.

Weirdly at no point did I think about any new material. Next thing it's nearly Christmas and nothing is done. Plans for writing were scuppered by a very busy festive period involving four nights out, 14 gigs in 22 days and getting things ready for Santa Claus coming and trying to be a good husband and father. They were also scuppered by the snow. At the first sight of snow I was out in my wellies sledging and having snowball fights. Sledging was a particular favourite (although I did find out that my body, especially my back, cannot endure the same rigors it did when I was eight).

Thankfully January wasn't too manic so there was time to get the show ready for previews in February. For some reason I hit a particularly productive period just after the New Year. I wish I could tell you what it was that brought out this productive period. If I did know what it was I would bottle it and sell it to other comedians. There is a good chance that it would sell faster than bread and milk on a snow day.

Only thing I have worry about now is ticket sales. Well that and hoping that people decide not to see Dave Gorman instead of me on the 25th of March...

John Gavin will be performing his solo show The A-Z of Parenting at Uisge Beatha on Thursday 25th March. Find out more here.

Bridget Christie Guest Blog

2010-02-24T09:49:00.003Z

I always get very emotional when I come home to Glasgow. I miss it. When I say "home", I wasn't born in Glasgow or grew up here or anything, I'm from Gloucester, which begins with the same two letters, so sometimes I get them mixed up. In fact, I've only ever been to Glasgow once and I was very heavily pregnant so I don't remember much about it, other than going into lots of pubs to use the ladies lavatory. I remember going to The Willow Tea Rooms and eating a cake, and seeing a lovely old Victorian museum thingy called The Tenement House. I love all that shit.

I also went to a great gig at the Stand Comedy Club which was compared by Michael Redmond. Michael Redmond played Father Stone in the classic C4 series Father Ted, and his portrayal of a boring priest is one of the funniest things I've ever seen on telly. I still think about it now, all these years later. And I saw him live. On stage. In Glasgow. What’s the saying? Home is where the heart is. I didn’t see Michael Redmond in Gloucester did I? And you’ve got Jerry Sadowitz, who should be the official face of The Glasgow Tourist Board. Who have we got in Gloucester? EMF and Fred West. So, what do you say Glasgow? Will you have me?

Find out more about Bridget Christie online at www.bridgetchristie.co.uk

Bridget will be performing her solo show My Daily Mail Hell at Blackfriars Basement on Sunday 14th March. Find out more here. You can also win tickets to the show by going to our Competitions page.

Michael Redmond and Jerry Sadowitz are also performing at the festival; to find out more about their shows and to view the full programme of events happening this year go to www.glasgowcomedyfestival.com

Paul Sinha Guest Blog

2010-02-08T16:24:00.003Z

I have been doing gigs in Glasgow at least annually for the last ten years. Those who have never been to Glasgow may wonder how a public school educated, openly gay Asian comedian with extremely limited resources of personal courage would get on. These people would certainly not be shocked that I was once punched to the floor inside the Best Kebab House on Dundas Street. But that was only the once. And I prefer to remember the good times, rather than the time a feral child ran towards me with a lit firework in his hand.

I for one cannot fault a city that has more Chinese buffet restaurants than Beijing. Until you have gulped down your 28th duck-filled pancake of an evening, you cannot claim to have done Glasgow. Glasgow is still the only city where I have ever been offered a threesome by a mixed gender couple. I still don't know what possessed me to decline. Sobriety can be a curse at times.

That sense of adventure is reflected in the comedy audiences in Glasgow who have always been a pleasure. Ken Dodd famously said of Sigmund Freud that, "The trouble with Freud is that he never had to play the old Glasgow Empire on a Saturday night." Well nor have I, but if the crowds were anything like those that turn up to the Glasgow Comedy Festival every year I would loved to have taken my chances.

Find out more about Paul Sinha at www.paulsinha.com

Paul will be performing his solo show at the Stand Comedy Club on Sunday 14th March. Find out more here.

Zoe Lyons Guest Blog

2010-01-29T17:24:00.004Z

Performing at the Glasgow Comedy Festival always feels a little bit like coming home for me. I grew up and went to school in Glasgow - Newton Mearns to be precise. I love it when you tell folk from Glasgow you lived in Newton Mearns. “Oh” they say.... “the Mmmmmmmmearns” in a faux posh, slightly camp accent as if to suggest that I spent my childhood riding around on polo ponies while shovelling caviar down my throat. Far from it, my school memories are of having to go cross country running in the snow wearing gym shorts that even the pussy cat dolls would now describe as “a bit too skimpy”.

The cold would turn your legs a very unattractive deep purple colour. It took me a while to realise that the cool kids didn’t actually do the cross country run but rather ran out of the school to the bus stop, leapt on the bus to the bakers, sat in the warm bakers for twenty minutes munching on mutton pies and then got the bus back up the hill and ran the last bit back into school. Once I was made aware of this approach to PE I became a big fan of the subject. In fact, to this day mutton pies play a very big part in my health regime.

Find Zoe Lyons online at www.zoelyons.co.uk

Zoe will be performing her show Miss Machismo at Blackfriars Basement on Friday 26th March. Find out more here.

Hardeep Singh Kohli Guest Blog

2010-01-21T14:47:00.002Z

Don't tell anyone this, but I have never played a gig in my hometown. Seems rather strange to be coming home to play my debut gig there. Luckily it's low-key event in a tiny wee venue. Wrong. The Kings Theatre as part of the Glasgow Comedy Festival. Brown trouser time.

It's always great coming home, mostly cos everyone makes sure you don't get too big for your boots. Everyone kent ma faither and have no problem reminding me of that fact on a regular basis. But also there's a lot of love in Glasgow and that's very humbling.

It's amazing to play the Kings. I went to school across Sauchiehall Street, used to study at The Mitchell Library round the corner, drank coffee and ate toasties across the road from the Kings. But I've only ever seen pantos there which makes me want to perform my show completely in drag with loads of very badly applied make-up. The only reason I'm not is cos I would genuinely be mistaken for my aunt (though her beard is greyer, obviously).

A lot of my show is about coming from Glasgow, growing up in Glasgow. So many of my stories and reminiscences from home so it's going to be very interesting to see how the stories work in the city of their origin. I'm so excited and I just can’t hide it. I'm about to lose control so I'd better take another Tamazepan.

I don't mean to sound all nostalgic and maudlin but I cannae help thinking about all the great comics that came from Glasgow, men and women that shaped and changed the comedy of the city, a city renowned across the world for being funny. I only hope I do them justice.

(No Pointer Sisters were hurt in the writing of this blog)

Check out Hardeep online at www.hardeepsinghkohli.co.uk

Hardeep will be performing his solo show The Nearly Naked Chef at the King's Theatre on Monday 22nd March. You can win tickets to the show by going to www.glasgowcomedyfestival.com and checking out our Competitions page!

Billy Kirkwood Guest Blog

2010-01-15T13:17:00.007Z

Firing through the rain soaked streets, shoes drenched, pocket full of scribbled notes, dodging the craziness of Sauchiehall, pausing only to watch a girl charging head first at her soon to be ex-boyfriend while swinging her shoes high above her head and screaming "Rambo", I pound the pavement on my way to my third gig of the night. I’m looking like a cross between a stand up comedian and a monkey that's fallen out a tree but wearing a smile a mile wide.... such is the madness of the Glasgow Comedy Festival and I love it.

"Aye that'll get it right up that Fringe lot eh pal?" beams a taxi driver, cheerfully nodding at the banner splattered bus.

"You like stand up do you mate?" I reply with my mock 'big boy' voice.

"Oh aye” he fires back “Especially when it’s dirty stuff, likes fannies n that".

"God" I think to myself.

I love this city and would totally let it get to second base one the first date.

As a boy from the coast I’ve become besotted with the special buzz my adopted city holds for 18 days every March. The Dear Green Place opens its streets, pubs, clubs, buses, theatre, trains and everywhere in-between to comics and punters alike from all around the globe, inviting them to bring their comic mojo…..and ready to let you know if you left it at home that day.

The cous cous becomes a fish supper, the red wine the can of Tennent’s. The pretentious pomp and circumstance that sanitises and dulls the fun of other comedy festivals is nowhere to be seen at Glasgow, you’ve not come here to waste your money, you’ve come to have some fun and a bloody good laugh.

What's that? Finally got a rumbling in your funny tummy? Well why not tuck into the buffet of awesomeness coming at this year’s festival it's bloody scrumptious! From phenomenal talents of your “El Diablo” Mark Nelson, Raymond Means, Scott Agnew and (soon to be huge) sketch group How do I get up there?, to the big household names like Paul Merton, Jerry Sadowitz, Lee Mack, Dave Gorman, Bill Burr, Lucy Porter and ahem…..Billy Kirkwood (cough - that one is awesome - cough).

With the orange glow of the Magners Glasgow International Comedy Festival starting to sparkle on the horizon, I can't help but get once more terrified and excited in equal measure. Gigging everywhere and anywhere the festival will have me with a variety of comics I can’t wait to see perform, even just as a fan. The comedy festival is book-ended with my own new solo show "Comedy Fizzbomb" at Gilmorehillg12 on Friday 12th and something a little different with my live comedy podcast show "Seven Different Shades of Wrong" with Messer’s Molland and Buckley at Capitol on Saturday 27th.

So the party is just gearing up mofo, and the music of comedy has never sounded better, so I got to ask.......you dancing?

Find Billy online at www.billykirkwood.co.uk

Billy will be performing his solo show Comedy Fizzbomb at Gilmorehillg12 on Friday 12th and his live comedy podcast Seven Different Shades of Wrong with Rick Molland and Phil Buckley at Capitol on Saturday 27th March.

Scott Agnew Guest Blog

2010-01-08T12:05:00.013Z

As a Glaswegian comic there's no more exciting time of the year than the approach to March and the Magners Glasgow International Comedy Festival.

To spend a month playing various gigs to a home crowd is a rare pleasure and it's also great fun to introduce the many visitors from elsewhere in the UK and beyond to what Glaswegians are best known for - their banter and humour.

Each year the festival throws up its own special memories that will live long in the minds' of both the acts and the punters that attend the gigs.

A personal highlight/lowlight last year was rather drunkenly compereing a late night gig last year at Sloan's which just happened to have the stupidly brilliant Ross Noble drop in to have a watch after he'd completed a 3 hour sell-out show at the Theatre Royal earlier in the evening.

Eagle eyed as always and wanting to treat the audience to something a bit special I decided to coax the Geordie comic genius into performing a set for the 120 strong festival crowd. When he at first refused I decided it might be a good idea to blackmail the Perrier nominated comedian with the taunt "Nobody in Glasgow will buy your Christmas DVDs."

To chants of "Ross, Ross, Ross" from the crowd the indefatigueable Mr Noble took to his feet and performed a barnstorming 30 minute set. Chuffed with myself I retreated to the bar to watch a master surrealist at work. He charmed the pants off the crowd and before long, me too - quite literally.

By way of revenge, on leaving the stage as I tried to close the show Mr Noble suggested that the audience might want to see me strip - which I was bashfully refusing. Before I knew it a lady in the front row leapt to her feet pulled off my suit jacket and tie - the music kicked in and she had stripped me of my shirt and was undoing my belt and hauling my jeans to my ankles before spanking my rear with my own tie whilst standing wearing nowt but my boxers - a delight for absolutely no one - I'm sure.

Embarrassing though this little episode may have been for myself, it's little unplanned, unexpected moments like this that makes the Magners Glasgow International Comedy Festival a special and magical experience for all involved.

So as we approach the eighth Festival I am once again getting moist with anticipation at what this year will have in store for us all. So I hope to see you all at some point during the Festival - either at my daily lunchtime chat show with BBC Children in Need's Des Clarke at Sloans or at my own solo show, Pride (In The Name of Love) at Maggie Mays on March 25. And I promise I'll do my best to keep my kegs on this time. Legs crossed anyway!

Follow Scott on facebook at www.facebook.com/scottagnew1

Scott will be performing his solo show Pride (In The Name of Love) at Maggie Mays on Thursday 25th March and The Skinny Presents...The Big Lunchtime Comedy Chat Show @ Sloans with Des Clarke every Thursday to Sunday during the festival.

Introduction from the Festival Co-ordinator Sarah Niblock

2010-01-06T09:15:00.001Z

So the start of another year heralds another Magners Glasgow International Comedy Festival. Excellent!

Things are well underway on the planning and organizational side of things. This will be the eighth Glasgow Comedy Festival and it’s grown substantially year on year, with 2010 continuing the trend.

Quite a few folk ask if this is a year-round job, and believe me, it certainly is! Planning for this year’s festival began way back at the end of last year’s event.

As soon as the festival is over there’s a review and evaluation reports to be done, then the planning for the next year starts.

Acts are booked, venues are secured, talent is scouted, and links are forged. 2009 saw some great new relations cemented with our colleagues over in New York and we’ve made some brilliant connections with all the top clubs over there such as Carolines, The Gotham and the Comic Strip to name just a few.

Then of course August is occupied by that event along the M8, so we head to the east of the country and check out the great and the good Fringe-goers over there to see who’s on form and who’s up and coming.

As well as work getting underway for our own event, the latter part of the year sees us undertaking the comedy aspects of the Kirkcaldy Comedy Festival and the Merchant City Festival before finalizing our own programme .

By the time that’s all done we’re at this point – January – and only two short months away from the start of what is arguably the biggest event solely dedicated to comedy in Europe!

So, it’s going to be hectic from now until March but we wouldn’t have it any other way.

If you haven’t already signed up, follow us on Twitter, or Facebook, or Myspace or any of the other wondrous social networking thingies that are out there then please do so and we’ll try to keep you as informed and up to date as is possible in an interesting and funny way (probably more funny peculiar than funny ha ha though – we’ll leave the funny ha ha up to our lovely, talented comedians as, after all, they’re just so bloomin’ good at it).

Cheerie bye for now….

(you’re looking good by the way, blog reader, have you done something different with your hair? It suits you!)

New year, new blog!

2010-01-06T09:02:00.004Z

Hello and welcome to our new festival blog!

Here you can find all the latest goings-on from the festival team, and we'll be getting some comedians in for some guest blog spots, too.

Happy New Year!